A Mission with That Idiot
by Hypo Prower
Summary: But no matter how smart or funny or handsome he could be, he would never be prepared for what was going to come at him next. "You're going on a mission with him. Deal with it." No pairings.
1. Deal With It

Hatake Kakashi.

Those two names put together made enemies cower, allies smile, and made a certain other jonin scoff.

Kakashi was the kind of person who could be polite one second and kill someone another. He was the kind of guy that could make all the ladies blush and refuse even the prettiest one a date. He could kick MAJOR butt, but would never make fun of or criticize his opponent, sometimes even offering them helpful advice. But no matter how smart or funny or handsome he could be, he would never be prepared for what was going to come at him next.

"You're going on a mission with him. Deal with it."

Kakashi's eyes slowly turned to the man that stood next to him. He was none other than Might Guy, his eternal rival.

"I think I'd be better off if you just drug me around the back of the building and shot me."

Tsunade, the fifth Hokage to the great village of Konohagakure, looked very unamused. "Look, you two aren't exactly on equal ends, so it'd be best if the both of you learned to work together."

Guy was furious. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" he exclaimed. "I can't go on a mission with that laid-back, silver-haired butt-ugly loser!" Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"I think that's the most trash I've ever heard you talk," she commented. "But it doesn't change anything."

Kakashi was still too in shock from hearing Guy spew ugly phrases from his mouth to speak, so Guy spoke for him. "Can't we take anyone else on this mission? A student, maybe?"

The Hokage shook her head. "Nope, sorry, Team 7 is already deployed, and your squad is staying here today in case some emergency comes up. You two are going at it alone."

"What if I puke on him?" Kakashi asked, regaining his composure.

"Then he'll have to buy a new green jumpsuit of youthfulness ©." Tsunade replied, straightening some papers on her desk. "I don't have time to argue with you two. Just go to Sunagakure, take care of your mission, and come back here. Alright?"

Guy and Kakashi sighed in unison. "Yes ma'am," they said. Kakashi grabbed the mission scroll off the desk and proceeded to exit the Hokage's office. Guy shot him a dirty look.

"What if _I_ wanted to carry the mission scroll?"

"Deal with it, stupid."

**The next chapter will be longer, I promise. :)**


	2. Stopping for the Night

It was not long before both Kakashi and Guy had started on their journey to Suna. Guy read over Kakashi's shoulder as the jonin went over the mission. Kakashi looked up irritably.

"Do you mind?" he asked Guy.

Guy snorted. "Look, just read the mission aloud, alright?"

Kakashi rolled his eyes, but cleared his throat and began reading.

"Our mission is to investigate the bodyguards of the Kazekage. Many of the villagers have been keeping an eye on them, and believe that they are plotting to take him down. We fight if necessary. Rank B, pay is $105."

Guy digested the information for a moment. "Hm, bodyguards, eh? We'll have to be really cautious. If they suspect anything from us, they can easily arrest us then and there for treachery to the Kazekage." Kakashi rolled up the mission scroll.

"You don't say?" he added sarcastically. "C'mon, we'd better move."

The two jonin were soon hopping through the trees, eager to get to the sand village. It was easy to tell that the both of them wanted this mission over with.

Unfortunately, it is common knowledge that it takes three days to arrive at Suna from Konoha. So, as the day drew to an end, even though the two jonin had made great progress, they were going to have to camp out.

"Can't we just keep going?" Guy complained as Kakashi drew to a halt.

"It would be stupid to use all of our energy and risk being attacked," Kakashi replied rather smartly. "We need to rest and get something to eat if we're to continue on tomorrow."

Guy sighed. "Please tell me you brought food."

"What, _you _didn't?" Kakashi teased, holding up a few cups of instant ramen. "Some jonin you are. I'll cook this while you set up the tent."

"Set up the tent?!" Guy cried angrily. "That's genin work!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, would you like to cook the food that YOU brought?"

The bowl-cut shinobi blushed as his stomach growled. "I'll go set up the blasted tent," he muttered through his teeth as Kakashi began to build a fire.

As Guy was sticking the posts into the ground, something suddenly hit him. If Kakashi was going to be eating instant ramen…then that meant…NO MASK! With a newfound energy, he whisked the cloth sloppily onto the posts and hurried over to the fire that he had just built. However, when Guy looked at Kakashi, he was just putting his mask back on. An empty cup of noodles lay next to him.

"Wha…what…SO FAST!" was all Guy could cry. Kakashi looked blankly up at him.

"Are you done with the tent? Your noodles will get cold if you don't hurry." The jonin stared at his rival, fire building in his eyes.

"He is SO annoying!" he hissed. Kakashi rolled his eyes and looked back at the rushed tent that Guy had prepared for them.

"You really suck at that," he commented.

"THAT'S IT!"

Guy let out a battle cry before leaping onto Kakashi. He punched him in the nose, and Kakashi countered with his knee in his stomach. Guy grimaced and started yanking on Kakashi's mess of hair, but the jonin easily escaped his grasp and leapt up, tripping him. However, Guy was a fighter; when he was lying on the ground, he kicked off to the side, knocking Kakashi off his feet.

The two glared at each other, now at eye level. "Now I see why Lady Fifth put us together on a mission," Kakashi commented. "They wanted me to try to help you stop being such an idiot." Guy growled, but he knew getting into another fight would be pointless.

"Whatever," he snorted, getting back on his feet. "And I'm not an idiot, I'm just a hot-blooded pure shinobi of Konohagakure!" Guy couldn't help but add his trademark grin to the end of the sentence, and he stalked off, back to the fire.

Kakashi stared at him as he went back. "Nah, he's just an idiot," he muttered as he got back to his feet.

When it came time for sleeping arrangements, both jonin stared at the tent, and then at each other. "I'm sleeping outside," Kakashi told Guy before going off to retrieve his sleeping bag.

Guy blinked and sweatdropped. _Good thing, because I didn't bring a sleeping bag!_

**Well, er, it's longer, right? If you don't like it, please review! I promise I won't bug you with replies, unless you ask a question or something.**


	3. The Plan Unfolds

The next morning, Guy awoke inside the safety of the tent. He yawned and crawled outside, then gasped horrifically at the empty sleeping bag that once held Kakashi. He clenched his teeth together and grabbed onto his hair.

_Oh, no! What if he got eaten by a bear?!_ He thought hastily. Then he ran into the woods and cried out. "KAKASHI! MY YOUTHFUL RIVAL! I'M SORRY I TRIED TO KILL YOU LAST NIGHT! I WILL AVENGE YOU BY KILLING THAT BEAR! WAAAAHH!!"

"What the heck are you yelling about?"

Guy spun around and saw Kakashi, looking at him like he was a moron. Guy wiped his brow and then started bear-hugging the jonin. "Thank goodness you're alive!" he announced, relieved. Kakashi shoved him off and dusted himself off.

"Of course I'm alive. What'd you expect?" Kakashi rolled his eyes and started walking back to the campsite. "C'mon, hurry up. We'd better get going if we're going to reach Suna by tonight."

"R-right." Guy was still some-what frazzled.

After an exhausting hike all the way to Sunagakure, it was around 6 o' clock that night by the time that Kakashi and Guy had arrived. They were greeted by the villager that had proposed the mission, a man named Izumi.

"Thank you for coming," he told the two. "We care very deeply for our Kazekage and we don't want him hurt. What will you do first in the way of confronting the body guards?"

"Well, first we'd better make sure they're plotting against him," Kakashi explained. "So we'll do some questioning. In the meantime, one of us will search through some personal documents…a bit like detective work."

Guy crossed his arms. "And where was I when we decided all this?" he asked crossly. Kakashi shrugged.

"I dunno. Yelling about a bear or something, I think." Izumi exchanged glances with each of the jonin.

_These people seem kind of weird, _he thought. _I mean, one of them has his whole face covered up, and the other one…he's just a weirdo!_

"So, will you be starting this investigation tonight?" Izumi asked, snapping himself from his thoughts.

Guy was about to protest, but Kakashi nodded. "Of course. We'll be on our way right now."

As Izumi started off, Guy gave Kakashi an evil look. "What about rest?!" he seethed. "We've been running all day, and it'll be late before we get all of this done!"

Kakashi closed his eye and began walking towards the Kazekage's tower. "Hey, it's like you always say, Guy… 'a youthful spirit never tires'."

"I hate you."

Once at the Kazekage's office, Kakashi and Guy knelt down behind a bush to confirm their plan. "OK, Guy, you go in there and ask the bodyguards if you can ask them for questions. In the meantime I'll break into each one of their apartments and look through some of their personal papers. Got it?"

"No!" Guy protested quietly. "YOU'LL ask them some questions and I'll break into each of their apartments and look for plans, or documents or something."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine," he stated calmly. "Just don't get caught, OK?"

"What made you think I would?"

"Oh, just the fact that I know you."

Kakashi untangled himself from the bush and strode calmly into the Kazekage's office. When the bodyguards stopped him, he politely asked them away. In the meantime, Guy made sure everything was clear before hopping up on a low-sitting window ledge.

_I'll show that ingrate Kakashi that I can do anything he can!_

However, unbeknownst to him, inside the place was teeming with paid assassins.


	4. Kakashi's Discovery

The Kazekage's tower was quiet…TOO quiet for Guy. His gaze darted from place to place as he ducked behind a door. There was nothing, though. The jonin sighed warily and crept out from his hiding place.

As he continued down the hall, he began stopping at the first door that he saw. Guy opened the door swiftly and got into a defensive position, as if 20 ANBU members were going to leap out at him. When no one did, he glided into the room and fiddled around for the light switch.

Suddenly, the lights flickered on, and before Guy knew it some stranger was on top of him. "Whoa!" Guy yelped out, surprised. He easily kicked the assassin off of his lap and followed through with a right hook. The opponent collapsed onto the ground and breathed heavily.

"Well that was easy," Guy commented with a huff. He continued his investigation.

In the meantime, Kakashi was asking the bodyguards some questions in a nearby room. "So, we've heard from various villagers that you're planning on ridding of the Kazekage," he told the two men that sat in front of him. The one on the left gritted his teeth threateningly.

"What, so you're gonna interrogate us?" Kakashi smiled and laughed slightly.

"I'm just some jonin from Konoha. There's no way that I can trust anyone here, and I certainly can't trust some random outsiders." The left-sitting bodyguard eased up after this comment.

"However, I can't trust you for certain, either."

The bodyguard sitting on the right nodded. "I figured that," he growled. "And it seems reasonable enough."

"But you have to trust someone," the lefty pressed. "Who will you choose?"

"Mm, if you'd exit this room, I'll tell you who I'll choose."

The two bodyguards exchanged puzzled glances. "What?" The right bodyguard asked, confused. Kakashi grew a serious look on his face before grabbing the two ninja by the arms and tossing them out of the room. He hurriedly bolted to the door and locked it after pressing the meeting table against it.

"Stupid," he muttered as he picked up a file that was lying on the table containing certain precious documents.

***

Guy was getting irritated. He had already checked three rooms, and none of them had any documents of any kind that were of use. Although he didn't have any problems with any assassins. Those were everywhere.

Suddenly, he heard yelling a bit down the hall. _What the?!_ Guy thought hastily as he darted down the hallway. In his sight lay two Suna bodyguards, banging against a door. "Hey, what gives?" he called aloud. The bodyguards glared over at the jonin in the jumpsuit with an evil and menacing glare.

"Oh, he must be friends with our little detective," one of them muttered.

"H-hey, what's going on? Augh!"

The jonin was tackled to the ground.

On the contrary, inside the small room, things were calm for Kakashi. He tuned out the banging and yelling as he dusted over the plans for the bodyguards' assassination plan. _I think even Naruto could come up with something better than this,_ he thought disdainfully.

Suddenly, his head jerked up to hear Guy scream something. _Hoo boy,_ Kakashi sighed as he started to remove the table that sat in front of the door.

Documents still in hand, the masked jonin was surprised to see that three other bodyguards had their faces pressed against the door. "We hired the stupid weak ones to stand at the door," one of them grinned. "Prepare to die, along with the Kazekage!"

**Yeah, still short I know, but the next chapter will most likely be the last. I don't really see what else there is for Kakashi and Guy to do…but anyway, thanks for the reviews, my two reviewers (and whoever else could have reviewed prior to this writing)!**


	5. Mission Accomplished

"Will you get OFFA ME?!"

Guy kicked upwards at one of the bodyguards that were crowded on top of his body. Then he leapt up and dispatched the other two quickly. "Geez, give me some leg room!"

Kakashi looked alarmingly at the kunai that was positioned in front of his neck. "Well this is new," he commented as calmly as he could. "Based on that cruddy plan you guys formed…"

The bodyguard that held the kunai at the jonin's neck spat. "What, you thought that was BAD?!" he demanded. "You'll die for that!"

Just as the ninja weapon was about to become part of Kakashi's throat, a nun chuck whipped through the air and smacked it away from the bodyguard's grip. He turned around and gritted his teeth, meeting the serious gaze of Guy. The jonin whipped the nun chuck around some more before catching it in his hands.

"Ready for more?" Guy growled.

The bodyguard, forgetting Kakashi, leapt at Guy. The jonin was ready. He hurriedly jammed the nun chucks back in his weapon's roster and started kicking upwards at his opponent. Kakashi snorted and dashed for the two.

"You forget about me so easily?" he asked, sounding somewhat offended. "Big mistake, buddy."

"I GOT this," Guy argued, grabbing the bodyguard and whisking him to the ground. Kakashi narrowed his gaze.

"This is OUR mission." He replied, crossing his arms. "But whatever, if you feel like you can handle him on your own, that's just dandy with me…"

However, as Guy was focused on his rival, the bodyguard, wriggling under his grasp, drew a kunai. "Heh heh," he snickered as he punctured it into Guy's arm. The jonin looked down in alarm.

"Ow!" he yelped in pain. The bodyguard kicked him away and started to make a dash for it. Just when he thought he was scot-free at the back door of the palace, he met the face of Kakashi.

"Going somewhere?" he asked tauntingly.

"Ah, crud."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Well, this is certainly interesting," Tsunade commented as she looked at Guy's bandaged arm and Kakashi's seemingly-woundless body. "You two came back from a mission with each other…and neither of you are dead."

"Nope!" Guy announced victoriously. "You gave us the inside mission of working together as a team, and I totally passed it! Right?!" Not waiting for the Hokage's response, the jonin continued. "And we cleared the other mission, too! I learned how to put up with that silver haired butt-ugly loser and I got this cool scar to show my youthful students when I get back! Hah hah!"

Kakashi stared at Guy. "Uh…I'm not sure how to reply to that."

Tsunade sighed. "Well, at least that's over," she said rolling her eyes. "But Guy, come see me next week so you can get a vaccination…I don't want you getting staph infection."

However, by that time the jonin was gone from sight.

"Guy, did you hear me?! Guy!!" Tsunade whipped her gaze to Kakashi. "Will you drag his butt back here?"

Kakashi turned and shook his head. "I've had enough Guy for one week," he informed her as he sauntered out the door of the Hokage's office.

END.

**Yayz! It's finally over! This is, like, the shortest fic I think I've ever written. So, er, yeah. Tell me what you think!**


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